The Northern Express Herald

Billie Eilish reveals the dark truth behind one of her biggest tracks

news.com.au

The teenage star revealed the real reason she wrote the hit song. Photo / AP

Billie Eilish's producer-songwriter brother just wants his sister to be happy.

Finneas O'Connell, 22, revealed that he and his family were "insanely concerned" when they first heard the Grammy winner's dark song Everything I Wanted.

"It was a period where I was really worried about my sister, and I felt like an enabler in helping her write a song as bleak as that song was," he told New York Times magazine.

"Like the musical equivalent of giving an alcoholic another beer: 'I'm not going to support this.'"

The song was reportedly inspired by a dream Eilish, 18, had in September 2018 in which she found herself jumping off a building.

"I was in a really bad place mentally," said the Bad Guy singer. "So the lyrics — 'I had a dream I got everything I wanted' — are literal."

Eilish has been open about her struggles with depression and has spoken in the past about how Everything I Wanted was inspired by suicide.

However, the singer explained the song's inspiration in-depth to the magazine, which featured the song in its annual "25 Songs That Matter Now" list, ranking it at No. 7.

"We had this big argument," Eilish said of her brother.

"Because I admitted something that I was, uh. It wasn't a physical thing I was admitting. I don't know how to put it without actually saying it, and I don't want to actually say it. But it was me admitting to something that was very serious about my depression. A very serious step that I was admitting that I was planning on taking."

Ultimately, O'Connell got what he wanted, in a way, by producing a song that was authentically Billie but added a glimmer of hope.

Billie's brother Finneas revealed that he was "insanely concerned" about his sister. Photo / AP

"Thought I could fly/So I stepped off the Golden/Nobody cried/Nobody even noticed," Eilish sings in the verse. But in the chorus, O'Connell harmonises with his sister: "You say, 'As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you.'"

"Finneas and I both had the idea to make the song about each other, instead of just me and how I was feeling," Eilish said. "We had a complete block, and the way we got through it was to make it about us as siblings and what we mean to each other."

Eilish also told the magazine that she's struggled with depression since her adolescence, and death is a common theme in her music. In the morose Bury a Friend, she croons, "I wanna end me," and the song Bellyache references thoughts of murdering her own friends.

WHERE TO GET HELP:

If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.

OR IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE:

• 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• https://www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helpline
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202