Celebrity Treasure Island winner Nix Adams on overcoming addiction and loss

But it has been a long road.

Adams spiralled into addiction after the loss of her baby, Alaska, to an unknown illness. He was just 16 months old when she discovered him dead in his cot.

The day he died, she says she turned to alcohol to numb the unbearable pain, quickly falling under its grip.

Eventually, she sought out meth. She says it briefly lifted the weight of her grief, but led to a five-year addiction during which she turned to prostitution, drug dealing and theft to survive.

Living in Australia at the time, Adams was eventually charged with robbery and spent a month in prison at the Dame Phyllis Frost Centre in Victoria. It was there she got clean.

By then, her children were back in New Zealand with their father, while her oldest, whom she had when she was 15, was being raised by his grandparents back home in Northland.

And while sobriety was one step towards change, Adams wanted to make amends. She returned to New Zealand and started from scratch, living in a tent as she rebuilt her life bit by bit.

She started to share her story along with other social media content that ranged from cooking videos to unhinged rants. It went viral, but most of all, it connected with people.

Over time, things turned around for Adams. She regained custody of her children, and also became a presenter on Māori TV’s Terei Tonight, winning Media Personality of the Year in 2022 for the role.

Then came Celebrity Treasure Island.

When she arrived on the shores of the TVNZ series, she was totally out of her comfort zone, but far from alone.

Adams explains she is spiritual – after losing a child, she needed something to believe in, or she says she wouldn’t have survived.

So, every day during filming, she spoke to Alaska, asking him for strength and guidance. She believes he was with her the moment she found the buried treasure. She calls his presence “comfort in an unknown environment”.

“I had so many conversations with my son,” Adams says.

“I just felt like he was with me through every single step of it. And, who knows you better than your own f***ing children?

“He knows, ‘I need to be with my mum, because my mum’s feeling out of it, and she’s in an out-of-it environment’. And just that thought was enough to keep me pumping.”

Alaska would have turned 14 on May 20..

“So, at the time, I’m visualising this 13-year-old, like, ‘Come on, Mum! Come on! God, you can do better than this!’”

Adams is the first woman to win the series in almost 20 years and her victory secured $100,000 for the Child Abuse Prevention Foundation.

“New Zealand losing another child to family violence, or any kind of abuse, is unacceptable,” she says.

“These children, they’re so bloody innocent, and our country is a really good f***ing country, and there’s a lot of children here that are never going to get to experience it. It’s f***ed up.”

Adams was drawn to the cause because she’s passionate about speaking up for those without a voice. It’s something she understands deeply, having experienced domestic violence and childhood trauma herself.

“I went through intergenerational trauma, and me and my mum have only started resolving that in the last 7-8 years. At the time, I couldn’t really share how I felt, because I didn’t understand how I felt.

“And then I went through domestic violence, and a lot of those times, you kind of shut your mouth because the juice isn’t worth the squeeze, you know?”

But when she got out of jail, she says something had changed in her, and when she created those social media profiles, she was determined.

“Like f*** is anyone going to tell me to shut up? This is my f***ing time.”

In those moments of hardship, rebuilding and retribution, did she ever imagine things would end up here, or that the next chapter could be this good?

“For so many of those years, I didn’t have a plan. My plan was just to make it through the day. When you’re coming out of rock bottom, it’s overwhelming to think of the long distance,” she explains.

“So, to be on Treasure Island, no way would I have thought this was possible.

“But I’ve been to rock bottom, I’ve been to hell and back, and it’s scary as. So when opportunities knock on your door, I’m going to take every single one of them. I want to lie on my deathbed, or in my grave, with a smile on my face, and know that everything that knocked on my door, man, I answered.”

Adams says the biggest blessing in her recovery has been having another baby. She and partner Dennis Makalio jnr welcomed their daughter, Egypt, three years ago, and she describes it as a healing experience after missing much of her other children’s early years.

“The decision to have Egypt was to have one final go at being the best possible mum I could be.

“I was always scared to have another baby, because – I think a lot of parents go through this when they lose children – you feel guilty about giving another child life, and playing with another child, when you can’t play with the one that’s passed away.

“But I felt like Alaska would want it, and there would be a part of Alaska within his sister. So that whatever she experiences, he experiences too.”

Adams has a book coming out later this year, sharing more of her life story, but she’s wary of distractions, wanting to remain laser-focused on being the best mum she can and enjoying moments she once missed.

“I can sit and watch [Egypt] playing with her toys, and I know that she’s so safe, she’s so loved, and I’m like, ‘Man, I’m doing a good job, I f***king know I am’.”

But much like any parent, her kids remain her harshest critics. They even ran a sweepstake on how early she would be eliminated from Celebrity Treasure Island.

So who won?

“None of them. None of my family thought I could win. So, I think I won the sweepstakes.” Adams says, with a laugh.

So she wants to dedicate that win to other mums who, like her, didn’t always have others’ belief – or belief in themselves.

“When push comes to shove, we’ve got the f***ing dog in us all day.

“I didn’t have any confidence, but I had a f***load of determination.”

Where to get help:

• 0800 METH HELP (0800 6384 4357)

• Alcohol Drug Helpline (Phone 0800 787 797 or text 8681)

• They also have a Māori line on 0800 787 798 and a Pasifika line on 0800 787 799

• How to stay safe if you’re using drugs: The Level

• Where to get your drugs checked: Drug checking clinics