The unseen impact of menopause on mental health
Life for 48-year-old Rachel got “a bit wild” a year ago. She started to feel out of control of her emotions, depressed and anxious.
She describes a recent incident. “I started crying in the car park at Countdown for no reason; that overwhelming feeling of ‘oh my God, I can’t stop crying. And this is outside of my control,’” she says.
The feelings confused her: “Nothing’s going wrong. On the grand scale of things in my life – which can often be a little bit complicated – things are really calm. There really is nothing to cry about.”
Rachel’s low mood coincided with the time of hormonal change known as perimenopause, the time leading up to menopause (the end of menstruation), when reproductive hormones start to fluctuate and can cause a wide range of symptoms. It’s part of the overall menopause transition which can start in the early 40s, and go on for anything between two and 10 years. Women’s experiences of it are very individual, and aren’t always what we might think of when menopause comes to mind.
Rachel, for example, hasn’t had any hot flushes, a symptom many recognise as being a classic of perimenopause. But alongside her menstrual cycle taking unpredictable turns, she has experienced some debilitating mental health symptoms.
She describes what she calls “a darkness”.
“It’s a feeling of waking up and thinking, ‘this does not feel great’. And then thinking, ‘okay, how am I going to do this? How am I going to get out of bed?’”
Normally a person who feels capable and on top of things, Rachel says she also feels frustrated and angry more often.
“Everything’s a big deal. Frustration and rage and overwhelm, you know? And you know that you’re making a fuss out of nothing.”
Rachel lives with her husband and two teenage sons, one of whom is on the Autism spectrum. That’s challenging, but the barely controlled rage she sometimes feels at home is new and unexpected.