What’s like to live with ADHD: A teacher changed my life by telling me to look at my ADHD as a superpower

What’s It Like To Be… is a fortnightly column where New Zealanders from all walks of life share first-hand experiences. Here, Tom Little talks to Paulette Crowley about growing up with ADHD – and how it led to a new business.

I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) at the age of 5, which gave my parents an idea of what was going on with me. But even though getting an early diagnosis was good, it still didn’t make it any easier. It was quite hard growing up and going to school with ADHD.

Everyone struggles when they’re growing up, but I was treated like I was disobedient and naughty, rather than having ADHD. It’s very negative to be treated like that. It’s not that we’re bad; it’s just that our brains work differently, and we think differently to neurotypical people.

My teachers didn’t know how to give me the support I needed but it wasn’t their fault because the school system is meant for neurotypical people. One time, a teacher drew a big X on the carpet where I had to sit and stay. What I needed was someone just to take the time to really connect with me. I did end up getting that, but it took a while.

I also struggled socially, which is also quite common for people with ADHD. I didn’t think about how my actions would make other people feel. I lacked empathy and that meant I didn’t have many friends. I would do silly things, like if my friends were making a sandcastle, I’d go and knock it over.

Focusing was also difficult. I couldn’t sit still. I used to get up and walk around and I wouldn’t know what I was doing. And that was pretty tricky, because it meant that I wasn’t learning anything, and I was really behind in my education.

I was medicated when I was 5 and that made a huge difference because it helped with concentration. When I don’t have it and have to do something that takes lots of thinking and focus, I really notice it.

On the other hand, I have a tendency to hyper-focus. I can get super-locked in on something if I am really interested in what I am doing, which can be a good thing. My economics teacher said I should look at my ADHD as a “superpower”, which, at first, I thought was a strange thing to say because I could only see negatives.

I used to also struggle to express how I was feeling. I had all these big things going on in my head and I didn’t know how to get them out. As part of a group in the Young Enterprise Scheme, I helped develop Pūkare cards, which means to be evocative or to express in Māori. The cards have pictures and words about emotions that you can show people when you don’t know how to express yourself. They’re now used throughout New Zealand by counsellors, teachers, parents and organisations.