Duncan Garner: I’ve bought a house – and moved in with an older woman (and my son)
Duncan Garner: "I like change. I like challenge. This is just another one on the roller coaster of life."
Well, I’ve finally done it. After years out of the market -- years of uncertainty, of worry, of sleepless nights and wondering if I ever would again -- this week, I moved into a house I’d bought.
Actually, it’s more than a house. It’s a real piece of land. And it looks like hard, hard work. They call that a lifestyle block — house, barn, sleepout and a whole lot of lawn I’m now responsible for. The ride-on is still on the shopping list.
The lawns are, in fact, paddocks, and I’m taking advice on whether to get a few sheep. We have an underground septic tank, no sewer, three water tanks, a water pump, and Wi-Fi is likely only via Elon Musk’s Starlink.
But the best part? I didn’t do it alone. I bought it with my 78-year-old mum; my teenage son, Buster, is right in the mix, too — already claiming his prized spots in the barn and house, laying down carpet, planning out his home gym and dismantling shelves and things in his way.
We lit the fire on Thursday night for the first time. It already feels like home. As I went through the woodpile a black bird nesting in there flew at me and took off. It gave me the shits; Buster laughed at me.
This wasn’t a carefully laid-out plan. It grew out of necessity, love and a shared refusal to do things the “normal” way. Because life hasn’t been normal for a while. Many Kiwis feel like that, I guess.
This is about getting back on the horse after the rough and tumble of life. I’ve been determined to survive a relationship failure and the work knocks, and this week it felt like the hard work and refusal to die paid off.
When my marriage ended, I didn’t rent a flash apartment. I moved back in with mum. At nearly 50, which was hard, but she didn’t flinch. It was meant to be for only a few weeks, until I found my feet. But the ground kept moving from under me in the media industry and I stayed on and on. She was so supportive, so caring, and this is about, hopefully, me showing mum I don’t want to stuff her into a retirement home and visit once a week.
At 78, she certainly has no intention of being labelled old or living in an old folk’s home. She could take the easy route and stay where she was, but mum loves a challenge and she’s a fighter. She overcame a massive seizure when she was 52, beat breast cancer 10 years later and lost her husband, my dad, 15 years ago.
She gets up every day, she’s positive and refuses to fade away. And now we’re co-owners of a rural lifestyle block that looks like hard work the moment you come through the gate.