Greg Dixon’s Another Kind of Politics: Donald Trump announces new ‘Don’t Buy American’ campaign
Donald Trump might as well have told the world not to buy US goods. Photo / Getty Images
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Greg Dixon’s Another Kind of Politics is a weekly, mostly satirical column on politics that appears on listener.co.nz on Friday mornings.
American President Donald Trump yesterday announced a campaign to end foreigners buying American products, the fake news is reporting.
“It’s going to be so popular. So beautiful,” Trump said before an audience of complete morons seated in the Rose Garden at the White House. “The rest of world is unfair. So unfair. So we’re putting America First. We’re going to make America great again by making sure the rest of world never buys another thing from America again. It a beautiful plan. So beautiful. America is going to be winning. Winning like never before. Today is Aberration Day for America!”
World leaders, including the Prime Minister of New Zealand Christopher Luncheon, issued statements lauding the President’s decision. One called it “great news for anyone who has ever had the misfortune to own an American car, eat American food or drink American wine”.
The “Don’t Buy American” campaign is expected to take effect at midnight, with New Zealand businesses taking American-made products off their shelves by as early as next week.
It is also understood that Trump’s plan will mean American tourists will no longer be welcomed by the rest of the world.
World stock markets rose to record levels as the rest of the world digested the move, which would see American chainstores and fast-food outlets close throughout the rest of the world as world consumers stopped buying American.
One consumer told this reporter “This is our Liberation Day from American crap.”
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