Greg Dixon’s Another kind of politics: Exclusive - What Trump really said to Luxon

Greg Dixon’s Another Kind of Politics is a weekly column that appears on listener.co.nz on Friday mornings. If you enjoy a “serious laugh” - and complaining about politics and politicians - you’ll enjoy reading Greg’s latest grievances.

Wonderful news, New Zealand. The Prime Minister, the out-of-touch multimillionaire Christopher Luxon, had a great chat with the soon-to-be-leader of the Free World*, the demagogue billionaire** who is very much in touch with the average US voter, Donald J Trump.

Luxon boasted to New Zealand media this week of a 5- 10-minute phone call with Trump, who was “very positive, very warm”. The PM reported that the hugely-popular convicted felon and serial liar has, er, “a lot of attachment” to New Zealand.

Did Trump and Luxon talk tariffs? Apparently not. Despite Trump promising on the campaign trail to slap duties on all foreign imports, something that could seriously harm our $8 billion-plus trade with the US, our PM says he didn’t broach the subject. Perhaps he forgot.

The call, Luxon said, was “really just a relational chance to say hello”, which translated from the Luxon-ese means they got to know each other a bit.

But that wasn’t all they did. Here, in a Listener exclusive, is the complete transcript of Trump and Luxon’s first phone call which was passed*** to Another Kind of Politics by a concerned Trump insider:

Trump minion: Mr President For Life, we have the Prime Minister of New Zealand on the line.

Trump: Who is he?

Trump minion: Mr Christopher Luxon.