How To Plan A Wedding With Purpose, According To A Photographer & Planner
Seasoned wedding professionals explain how to avoid common mistakes and plan a day of authentic celebration.
In deliberating over a wedding day dossier, it’s easy to get caught up in the details.
Lilac or lavender napkins? Wild or refined florals? Should the photos be documentarian or highly stylised?
Queenstown-based wedding photographer Carla Mitchell and planner Haley Keals are familiar with the intensity of all the questions that arise in planning the big day.
The two professionals are attempting to remedy them with a platform called Slay My Day. The online directory aims to connect couples directly to local wedding vendors, venues and planning resources to suit their preferences.
“It’s an overwhelming time of your life,” Mitchell says about planning weddings.
Together, Mitchell and Keals have more than 20 years of experience in organising and capturing more than 800 wedding days – so they’ve taken note of repeat mistakes by couples on their big days and know the approaches to ensure things run smoothly.
Don’t: Start on Pinterest and Instagram
In the earliest stages of planning a wedding, Keals says couples are drawn to social media platforms for inspiration. They start with photos of ceremonies, receptions and venues, which can mess with expectations and priorities.
“Their Pinterest boards are full of unrealistic things that aren’t personalised or aren’t unique to them.”
“A lot of the time, that can throw the idea of what the wedding is truly about – you and your partner – into keeping up with the trends of the year,” Mitchell says.
“Sometimes, it just becomes a bit more of a production than a celebration of the two of you.”
Do: Start with basics
Instead, they suggest couples should sit down without the influence of a screen and talk about their priorities.
“Is it your guest list? Is it the people? Or is it the location?” Keals says. “What’s the most important?”
Mitchell says this initial discussion helps to ground the celebration in your own connection. It also helps to determine how you’ll feel on the day and how your budget might be allocated.
“At the end of it, the placements and the napkins aren’t the first decision.”
Don’t: Choose guests and vendors without clarity
Mitchell says it’s important couples consider all the hours they’re likely to spend with guests and vendors, and choose both carefully.
Instead of leaning into obligation with a guest list, or choosing vendors based on price or an impressive Instagram profile, she says to consider the relationship you form.
“If you don’t pick them based on your connection with them, it can really throw off how you feel on the day. It’s not just the expertise or the service, it’s the energy they’re going to bring.”
Do: Trust the people you choose
With regard to vendors, Mitchell also says it’s important to give over to their expertise.
“We often get couples being very specific with the flowers they want. But if they trusted their florist and said, ‘I like these colours’, their budget is going to go a lot further. The creativity is going to be better.”
When couples come into the process with a sense of trust, they often come out happier with their celebrations, she says.
“Whereas when you’ve got such set expectations, they’re constantly looking at their watch and over-directing, and not actually being present.”
Don’t: Panic before the finish line
Paying vendors, organising transport, confirming colours, tailoring occasionwear – it’s common for couples to have a moment of overwhelm in the last month of planning, Keals says.
“In the lead-up to the wedding, there are so many last-minute jobs. There are pack-ins. There’s, ‘oh, who’s going to take dancing shoes from this place to this place? Have we got enough wine for the morning? Is the cord long enough for the DJ to be here?’”
Do: Consider an extra pair of helping hands
At this point, Keals recommends couples bring in an on-day co-ordinator.
“They can work with you in the lead-up for four weeks. They start dealing with the vendors. You’ve got everything you want and you’ve planned it. They just put the day together.”
Mitchell says these experts are a good alternative to loved ones, who might not know what to do with extra and unexpected tasks.
Don’t: Spend too much time on small talk
Mitchell says, while a wedding day is really exciting, it can pass by if you spend every second socialising.
“I think it’s important to spend as much time on the wedding day with your partner, but often you’ll see them splitting up and taking one side of the room and trying to chat to each person there.
“You don’t get any dance floor time or any time with the lover that you’re marrying.”
Do: Make time for your loved ones and your partner
Mitchell suggests creating more opportunities to socialise with guests instead, with more casual events the day before or after.
“I think a really good thing to do is a get-together with a lot of guests from the wedding, so the day isn’t such a rush.”
Then, on the day, your attention can be exactly where you want it to be. Mitchell says couples should take 15 minutes or so to leave their reception and have a slow moment together.
“You go out and enjoy a bit of quiet time, just the two of you, to reflect. Look around, look at all these people... It gives you chills when you’re there with them.”
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Cam Deynzer & Will Coleman’s Gorgeous Great Barrier Island Ceremony. The Sydney-based pair returned to New Zealand in late March to get married on Aotea Great Barrier Island alongside their closest family and friends.
Hayley & Connor Felise’s Beautiful Beachside Wedding In Te Arai. The producer and teacher chose the picturesque Pacific Road Beach at Te Arai for their relaxed and fun-filled day.
A New York Romance To Kiwi Nuptials: Inside Briar & Jon Figueroa’s Wedding Day. The NYC-based couple celebrated alongside their family and closest friends with an intimate and meaningful wedding day in New Zealand.